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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23318314">event horizon</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/curryramyeon/pseuds/tinygumdrops'>tinygumdrops (curryramyeon)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Friendship, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magical Realism, Romance, Trope Subversion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:35:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,644</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23318314</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/curryramyeon/pseuds/tinygumdrops</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Life must be lived forwards, but can only be understood backwards.” ― Søren Kierkegaard</p><p>Kageyama and Hinata, through the years.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>196</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>event horizon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi! this fic contains some very important manga spoilers from ch. 243 and beyond.</p><p>after furudate-sensei dropped that glorious majesty that is ch. 387, i wanted to try this new fic format. you can read this fic from beginning to end, or vice versa. </p><p>thank you so much to <a href="https://twitter.com/aastrae">astra</a> for the quick beta and the much-needed encouragement! </p><p>hope you'll enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>~End~</em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
</div><p>Shouyou told him a few months back that he didn't have that many wishes. He wanted to be home with his loved ones with Takeuchi Mariya's <em>September</em> crooning in the background as he slept.</p><p>"Oh, and keep a volleyball beside me at all times." Shouyou laughs at Tobio's pinched expression as he tucks himself in the <em>futon</em>. "As if you weren't expecting that already!"</p><p>"I'll bring it to you," Tobio mutters, standing up. His knees creak audibly, and Shouyou grins at this. "Don't talk anymore."</p><p>"Worried I'd run out of breath, Tobio?"</p><p>Tobio wants to hit him. When he finds the volleyball in their dresser, he sits back and holds Shouyou's hand tightly instead.</p><p>"Hey," Shouyou says, reaching out to pat Tobio's forearm. He tries to hide a wince by smiling with all his teeth, but it doesn't escape Tobio's notice. "Don't be sad anymore. I'm here."</p><p>Tobio knows. He always feels better when Shouyou's there. Wordlessly, he tightens his grip on Shouyou's hand. Sparks light up the edge of Tobio's vision, quite faint, but there.</p><p>"I feel really hungry," Shouyou marvels. "They did say so, but I wasn't expecting it'd be like this."</p><p>It's because of the medicine, which Shouyou's taking in higher doses now. The doctors said that in a few days, or a few hours, he wouldn't be feeling much anymore. "Do you want anything?" Tobio asks.</p><p>Shouyou shakes his head. Some of the gray hair strands fall on his forehead at the movement. "Just stay by my side."</p><p>"Alright."</p><p>"You sure you're okay just sitting like that? Aren't you uncomfortable?"</p><p>Now Tobio really wants to hit him. He inches closer to Shouyou and rests the other man's hand on his lap, fingers around Shouyou's wrist. "Be comfortable," he croaks out. He thumbs the words etched on the thin skin.</p><p>Shouyou sighs warmly and closes his eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>viii</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
</div><p>On their bed, Tobio and Shouyou lay unmoving, eyes trained against the wall in the relative darkness. Tobio's got his feet propped up against the headboard, which Shouyou has taken a lot of offense to—he's resting his legs atop Tobio's shins. The bond between them lights up in cool blue and quirky gold.</p><p>It's almost three in the morning. Shouyou kept tossing and turning earlier, and Tobio, in resignation, had turned on the lamp and waited for Shouyou to say his piece.</p><p>"Do you want to travel?" Shouyou eventually asks.</p><p>Tobio raises an eyebrow. "I'm not the one who suddenly bought a car last week."</p><p>"No—that's not..." Shouyou sighs. "I was wondering,” He paused. “Is there anything you want to do?"</p><p>"Volleyball," Tobio answers.</p><p>Shouyou's laugh echoes pleasantly across the room. "Me too," he says, a little winded. "Anything else?"</p><p>Tobio shrugs. "No idea," he mumbles, and at that, Shouyou blindly reaches out for his hand. Tobio has to guide it downwards to clasp Shouyou's fingers with his own. Tobio's stomach fills with tiny explosions, warmth spreading to his toes.</p><p>"I don't think I can tell Natsu that."</p><p>"Your sister?"</p><p>"Yeah. She's been... haranguing me about things. She's getting antsy, I think."</p><p>Tobio shifts and presses himself against Shouyou's shoulder. "I think your sister and my sister have been talking," he divulges.</p><p>"Oh, for <em>sure</em>. They have a scrapbooking thing going on. Didn't you know?"</p><p>Tobio doesn't. He's always relied on Shouyou to know these things, and he's long past feeling guilty about it. There are just some things that are made possible by Shouyou's innate goodness, things that Tobio could only hope to achieve.</p><p>"Anyway, she's been asking," Shouyou continues. "I was hedging my bets that you have some kind of idea, but apparently..." He snickers. "We're doomed, Tobio."</p><p>"Make something up, then."</p><p>"Yeah? Like?"</p><p>"I don't know," Tobio says. "Just—something we can do together."</p><p>"Yeah, duh." Shouyou then pushes himself up and sits straight, facing Tobio. "So, traveling. You don't want to?"</p><p>Tobio makes a face. "I didn't say that," he says. "But who would plan it out, dumbass?"</p><p>"That's what travel agencies are for. Jeez, Tobio, keep up. Where do you want to go?"</p><p>"Somewhere outside."</p><p>"<em>Of</em>?"</p><p>"Japan, maybe." Tobio still can't see himself traipsing through any of the places he's seen in those travel magazines he absently flips through while waiting for the dentist. But there are little sparks flying from Shouyou's general direction; he used to be like this when he’s excited over the prospect of doing something new on the court. It spurs Tobio into adding, "Let's try South Korea first, then go farther."</p><p>The sparks turn into fireworks. "Okay." Shouyou pulls Tobio's back towards him and presses a kiss on Tobio's nape. "I'll tell Natsu and Miwa-san that."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>vii</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
</div><p>The doctors aren't at all perturbed at Tobio doing so poorly at all of his balance checks. "It's not bad," the nurse tells him and his family. "He'll get on his feet soon enough."</p><p><em>Soon</em> doesn't come as quick as Tobio wants it to. There's always a timeline in these things, and by the time he hits the third-year mark, he knows he's already lost his window to return to the pro leagues, even without management coming and telling him that it's over. So, he goes ahead and rips the band-aid off.</p><p>It doesn't hurt as much as he expected it would, but there is that hollowness, that cold, empty feeling that's happily taking residence in Tobio's chest, making it hard to speak or do anything at all.</p><p>"Tobio, come on. Eat this."</p><p>Okay.</p><p>"Tobio, how about we go for a walk?"</p><p>Okay.</p><p>"Tobio, don't sleep too much."</p><p>Okay.</p><p>One day, his mother enters his room and gives him all of the volleyball journals she fished out from the recycling bin yesterday. "I know you have a lot of things to say," Mother says, eyes glistening. "Maybe not to us, but to yourself. If you write it down, maybe you'll find the right words. Hmm?"</p><p>Okay. Tobio takes back the journals and places them gingerly on his desk.</p><p>"Shouyou's waiting downstairs. He says he wants to take you out to eat. What should I tell him?"</p><p>With great effort, Tobio glances up and tells her, "Okay."</p><p>She smiles genuinely for what seems like the first time in years. She hugs him tight and closes the door behind her.</p><p><em>I can't play volleyball anymore</em>, Tobio eventually writes after half an hour of staring at the empty page. Even though there are still a lot of blank pages left for him to write on, he stuffs the notebook and the rest of his journals in the bottom drawer and locks it tight.</p><p>After eating dinner, he and Shouyou buy a new notebook in the nearby stationery store, and from then on, he'll log his days there.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>vi</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
</div><p>They win gold in the 2024 Olympics, and Tobio discovers that sex with Hinata Shouyou is downright <em>amazing</em>.</p><p>Perhaps it's a bit humorous that it feels like a big deal, having sex. They've been together for four years now, and they've done a lot of things already, but Tobio's nervousness over the whole thing hadn't dissipated until Shouyou declared, quite loudly, that he wanted to do it with <em>Olympic Gold Medalist Kageyama Tobio</em> and he wanted to do it <em>right now</em>. He didn't care that Tobio might hurt him, or he might hurt Tobio.</p><p>But none of those happen.</p><p>As he's got Shouyou draped all over him, sleeping soundly, Tobio wonders why he had waited all this time for something as magnificent as this. He's never doubted Shouyou, but maybe he needs to be a little less hard on himself.</p><p>Then, Shouyou blearily opens his eyes and pats Tobio's face insistently. "Where'd you go?" he mumbles, burnt orange hair in disarray. The flush still hasn't left his cheeks.</p><p>"Nowhere," Tobio answers. He shuffles their positions until they're facing each other, his lips ghosting over the slope of Shouyou's nose.</p><p>Shouyou starts singing the Japanese national anthem under his breath, and Tobio can't help but crack a smile. He lets Shouyou's voice lull him to gratifying sleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>v</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
</div><p>For the second time around, Tobio gets a call up to the national team, along with three others in the Schweiden Adlers. He waits until he gets home to check the complete roster, and of course, he finds Hinata there on the list.</p><p>When they get to training camp, one of the national team personnel approaches him about logistics, including the rooming arrangements.</p><p>"You and Hinata Shouyou know each other very well, I heard?" the lady with the thick-rimmed glasses says. "Your previous roommate, Ushijima-san, was asked by Sakusa-san to share accommodations, and he accepted." There seems to be a joke that Tobio's missing here, for the lady smiles even wider. "Are you okay with that?"</p><p>Tobio nods. "If it's alright, please ask Hinata first if he wants to room with me."</p><p>"Oh, I already did! He was absolutely chipper about it!" the lady says. "I hope you two have a great time together!"</p><p>And so Tobio lugs his bags in the reasonably-sized dorm room and chooses the bed nearest the door. He finds it odd that he's not fretting about this at all, at the prospect of being (literally) close to Hinata again, but perhaps some part of him had already resigned to the idea, as soon as he saw Hinata's name on the roster. Maybe anticipating it, even.</p><p>He starts imagining what it'll be like being part of the same team again.</p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> </p>
  <p>...</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><p>Imagining is very different from the actual thing. It takes longer for him and Hinata to time their attacks properly, mostly because Hinata's faster now and has a lot of new tricks up his sleeve. Most of all, what Tobio hadn’t expected was how <em>easy</em> it still is to track Hinata around the court, better than he could anticipate the rest of the players. Better than Ushijima or Hoshiumi, whom he's been playing with for much longer.</p><p>Somehow, he just knows where Hinata will be after a run-up, where Hinata will jump to evade the blockers. It’s not unlike that disconcerting, freakish mind-meld they had in high school.</p><p>It's a bit weird that Hinata has never questioned him about this strange, rare bond they have, but it's not like Tobio has any ready answers for him. He keeps his mind clear of things he thinks will get in the way of volleyball, the same way the words forever etched over his sternum will remain hidden for as long as he can keep his feelings a secret.</p><p>When Hinata starts moving to the right like he's going for a quick attack, Tobio instinctively sets the ball higher than usual. As he suspected, Hinata doesn't go for a quick—he plants his feet firmly and waits until the blockers have made their jump, before pushing himself off the ground and hitting the ball over with an unforgiving smack.</p><p>Their team takes the set from Team A, 25-21. It's like they won in Worlds or the Olympics; Hinata runs and jumps at him, hollering at his ear. Tobio faintly hears the rest of his teammates laughing at them, commenting warmly about how satisfying it is to have volleyball's dynamic duo reunited again.</p><p>Miya Atsumu remarks about the possibility of Hinata giving Tobio a lower body injury, and urges the orange-haired boy to do these kinds of celebrations at practice more often.</p><p>"Hands of a volleyball god! You're the frickin' <em>best</em>, Kageyama!" Hinata shouts, bumping his fist quite painfully over Tobio's chest.</p><p>It must be the heat from all the exertion, or the closeness of Hinata's flushed skin with his; without thinking, Tobio blurts, "You're someone even better."</p><p>Hinata pulls away and blinks. He then smiles blindingly bright afterwards. "Damn straight!" he cheers.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>...</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><p>They fall out of the quarterfinals, just two points short of beating Poland. Tobio bows out of drinking and heads straight to his room, shutting off the lights and flinging the sheets over himself.</p><p>Tobio's still wide awake, stewing over the loss, when the door opens with a resounding bang an hour after. He's a little shocked that Hinata's opted out of drinking as well, but there's something else in Hinata’s furious expression that makes Tobio think his sudden stormy appearance has little to do with their game earlier.</p><p>"When did yours show up?" Hinata says as he saunters to Tobio's bed, glaring down at him.</p><p>Tobio stills, the shock of comprehension making his limbs leaden. "When did <em>yours</em>?" he counters, sitting up.</p><p>"Just now." Hinata bunches up his sleeves, and Tobio's heart skips at the sight of the words inked deeply over the pulse point of Shouyou's right wrist. It's his handwriting—almost illegible, but indisputably his.</p><p><em>Someone even better</em>.</p><p>"You knew," Hinata whispers.</p><p>Tobio can't help but mirror Hinata's scowl. "I did," he says flatly. "But you didn't."</p><p>"Stupid-yama! You could've <em>said</em>!" There's no escaping Hinata's wrath. He pushes Tobio against the headboard, the wood slapping against the wall with a loud thud. "How long?"</p><p>Tobio keeps on glaring, staying silent.</p><p>"Long enough, then." Hinata exhales, before turning back to meet Tobio's gaze, eyes unnervingly bright. "Show me yours," he demands.</p><p>Tobio tosses the sheets and pulls up his cotton shirt. He doesn't need to look down to see what's on his chest. He's had it pressed over his heart for almost a decade, unmistakably Hinata's words and handwriting.</p><p>Hinata traces his fingers over it, leaving a trail of goosebumps and tiny sparks in its wake. His gaze becomes unfocused. "Long..." he mutters to himself. And then he says, "Kageyama. You don't want to be my soulmate, do you?"</p><p><em>Soulmate</em>. Tobio's insides twist in pain, Hinata's emotions magnifying his. "No," he says. "I don't want it any more than you do. We're rivals."</p><p>"Yeah. But we used to be teammates, and we're friends, too. Or—I thought we are. <em> Are</em> we?"</p><p>Tobio looks at him helplessly.</p><p>"You could've just said," Hinata says. "Friends tell each other things."</p><p>"You wanted to be better than me, dumbass. Better <em>without</em> me." Tobio shrugs. "If you knew what we are, then what's the point?"</p><p>"You <em>knew</em>, and it didn't matter to you! Why would you think it would matter to me?"</p><p>Tobio's face grows hot. "Well, I'm fucking sure that I don't want to depend on you, or anyone else," he says, hands curled into fists. "Not for volleyball, not for my happiness. I don't need a soulmate for volleyball. I know what I want."</p><p>Hinata's brown eyes flash, and he presses his hand, hard, over Tobio's chest. Tobio's blood sings in his ears.</p><p>"Yeah?" Hinata grits. "And what makes you think I'd need <em>you</em> to be happy? I'm already happy!" He then takes a fistful of Tobio's shirt and smashes their lips together.</p><p>Their teeth clash together at the impact, and Tobio tastes blood, their dry, chapped lips causing too much friction for it to be nice.</p><p>But then Hinata deftly swipes his tongue over Tobio's mouth, and everything begins to feel much better—<em>so much better</em>, that Tobio's hand has shot up to thread his fingers through Hinata's hair, his other hand palming at the soft cotton of Hinata's gym shorts. Hinata rucks his shirt up higher, hands greedy for more access, pinning Tobio effectively against the headboard.</p><p>They take a long time kissing. Amazingly, nothing in Tobio lights up the way it does when he's simply touching Hinata. All he can feel are these wonderful spikes of pleasure that he's sure are entirely his own, his shaky breath mixing with Hinata's, everything in him aching with love and want. Tobio isn't overwhelmed, so he ambles instead of chases, wanting that warm, quivery feeling to last until Hinata turns boneless in his arms.</p><p>When Hinata finally does, Tobio pulls away. "You sack of shit," he says, breathing hard. "See what I mean? Told you being soulmates means nothing."</p><p>Hinata wheezes out a laugh, lush mouth and hot breath all over Tobio's buzzing lips. "Of course it means nothing," he says, sounding almost delighted. "You should've just said so before, so I didn't have to go around wondering about my soul bond for years. I would've been on my merry way." He knocks his knees with Tobio's; this time, the sparks come alive.</p><p>"You're just stupid for not figuring it out." Even Yamaguchi had an inkling of what he and Hinata have. Tobio had tried his best not to be obvious, but apparently, his eyes and fleeting touches gave him away, especially off the court.</p><p>"I didn't want to hope," Hinata says simply. He rests his face on Tobio's sweaty neck. "Well. I guess that's on me, huh?"</p><p>Tobio grasps Hinata hard on his sides, not wanting the two of them to move away an inch. "A little," he concedes. Back then, Tobio didn't want to hope either.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>iv</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
</div><p>That absurd, full-frontal spike turned to set has left all the Adlers stunned. Hinata is poised to land on his feet, his back turned to them, but he angles his head just enough for Tobio to see that he's beaming at him.</p><p>The little sparks that lit up Tobio's stomach during the handshake line have now turned into explosions of another kind. With the wild, hot emotion threatening to overtake him comes a treasured memory he hadn't thought of for the longest time—<em>if you get really good, I promise you. Someone even better will come and find you</em>.</p><p>And Hinata did. Maybe a little later than what they wanted, but Hinata can always be counted on to add on a flair to keep things interesting. Tobio smirks.</p><p>He doesn't doubt that he'd be the last one standing on the center stage. If he has to fight tooth and nail for him to get there, then all the better.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>iii</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
</div><p>Hinata's leaving for Rio today. It says so in his phone calendar. It's quite hot out here in their backyard, and it must be blistering in the airport. As he wipes off the sweat percolating on his neck and chest, Tobio wonders if Hinata packed well enough for the blazing summer weather in Brazil.</p><p>Tobio didn't want to go see him off, and strangely, Hinata had accepted that without much fanfare, just nodded and flashed him a warm smile of farewell. Tobio thought he would rag on him about it, since most of the people in the volleyball club would be there, and Tobio didn't have a good excuse, with no games in hand. Perhaps Hinata had felt Tobio's distress over it, and let it go immediately when Tobio answered no.</p><p>Sometimes, Tobio wonders how much Hinata knows him. Knows <em>about</em> him, and all the silly things he feels and tries to keep hidden. It goes against Tobio's whole nature, concealing the most important parts of his soul, but he's eighteen now, and he knows certain facts of life fair enough.</p><p>He knows that happiness and heartbreak are just two sides of the same coin; if he opens himself to one, he'll be rendering himself defenseless against the other. Like the way volleyball has given him everything, but the moment it's gone, Tobio wouldn't know what to do with himself.</p><p>So volleyball can't be gone. Tobio will go through great lengths to protect it. That must be what his grandfather meant, when he said that personal management is important. Sacrifices must be done to keep getting stronger and better.</p><p>Tobio might be hopelessly in love with Hinata Shouyou, but he's not going to let something stupid as <em>love</em> and <em>soul bonding</em> get in their way of achieving greater things. If Hinata's leaving for Brazil to get stronger, then Tobio has no business going weak just at the sight of him.</p><p>If the other half of his soul must be on the other side of the world, then that's just how it's going to be for now.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>ii</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
</div><p>"You feeling better?"</p><p>"Yeah," Hinata says, sounding a bit amazed. "My mom and Natsu made me hot pot yesterday. Even after everything I ate after nationals, I was still <em>starving</em>."</p><p>Tobio peers at him. "That just means your body's recovering, dumbass." He huffs and rises to his feet. "Get better. See you."</p><p>Hinata grins, opening the doors for him. "I'm surprised my classmates roped you into giving the class notes for me, Kageyama-kun." He folds his arms over his chest and squints. "What does Takegawa-kun have on you, hmm?"</p><p>Tobio looks at Hinata's still tired face, the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead and upper lip, and decides not to hit him this time. "I'm the only one in our grade who's been to this house that's over the mountains more than once." He slips on his shoes. "Consider yourself lucky."</p><p>"I do feel lucky! I have such great teammates all around." Hinata pats Tobio's back. "See you later, Kageyama!"</p><p>Tobio's lips curl at his words. "See you."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>i</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
</div><p>"I'm here!" Hinata shouts at Tobio, and Tobio's body responds way before his mind can catch up. He tosses the ball to his direction, and Hinata merely gets a tap on it.</p><p>At that moment, Tobio can feel that something in him has shifted. Nothing too huge, but just enough for him to feel alarmed. He repeats the words again in his head, and a strange sensation courses through his spine; cold, like the snow sticking on windowpanes in the winter, and then warmth, like when spring arrives, and a new thing comes into focus.</p><p>Soul bonds are a rare thing, and Tobio has never in his life imagined he'd come across his own at the tender age of fourteen. He doesn't want to believe he did, but he must be sure.</p><p>When he gets home, he stands in front of the bathroom mirror and unbuttons his uniform. Sure enough, he sees the words inked in black over his chest.</p><p><em>I'm here</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>~Beginning~</em>
  </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><a href="https://tinygumdrops.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> | <a href="https://twitter.com/tinygumdrops">twitter</a> | <a href="https://curiouscat.me/tinygumdrops">curiouscat</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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